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Troubled children and near-perfect parents

Troubled children and near-perfect parents



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Last summer I had the opportunity to see on TV, although not in full, a program on rare childhood diseases, specifically on primary dwarfism. I was moved to see the courage with which some parents face such difficult situations for their children, and they draw strength to fight for them: for their health and integration, even in the midst of many difficulties.

Fatherhood becomes more perfect, if possible, in these people because they are able to cope with pain and concern for their children, helping them to develop and be happy in this world. Those of us who are oblivious to the problem do not always know how to face situations of frustration or failure with our children, or we do not know how to react to these situations. I have a friend, whose daughter has Down syndrome, who told me that when her daughter was born, there were many people who did not know whether to congratulate her or show her regret for the situation that she would have to live.

All parents want the best for our children: intelligence, beauty, stability, autonomy, happiness. I want to think that bringing a life into the world is always a reason for joy, even if in this world perfection and success are demanded so much for children. The success of a father is, above all, in making his son happy. Popular wisdom says that time heals everything and it is true. My friend told me that at first she had a feeling of constant failure, even guilt about her daughter's health, she constantly wondered why she had to touch her. But, over the years and the love for his daughter, they made him overcome what seemed insurmountable obstacles.

One thing is clear and that is that, although not all children have the same evolutionary pattern, they all evolve. Whether or not we are happy with their progress depends on the expectations we have on them. They do not give much or little, they give everything when we make them feel unique and loved. Comparisons, for parents who face a child with some physical or mental limitation, have no place; they undoubtedly learn to treat their child as an exceptional and very important being in their lives.

Patro Gabaldon. Editor of our site

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Video: PBS NewsHour full episode, Feb. 23, 2021 (August 2022).